"P" is for "Phil"
Dear Larry: I write to tell you of something truly remarkable in the field of personal investing.
As you may know, I was very active with Freemasonry for years. Well, some time back, I was seized by an idea – and by an ideal.
(Dolores feels I may be a bit crazy; you’d think a wife would support her husband and not spend most of the time criticizing.)
My objective, in this our twenty-first century, is to found a new and totally independent universal Masonic Lodge, an attempt to reach a generous and just standard in the way we live our lives.
It was clear to me that what has been lacking in the movement up till now is, in a word, leadership. With the right charismatic leader, we can set new goals, reach new achievements in world brotherhood.
I resisted the obvious conclusion for quite a while, but finally I gave in – I, Larry, am the person to become that leader.
I have spent most of my personal fortune to establish my new Lodge. I had a huge enclosure designed and built in the shape of a glass Mason jar – because, obviously, of the symbolism of the name – and it is capable of holding a human being who will use it for purposes of meditation and study.
There now exists a new ritualised format, which I developed over a period of time, that requires a person – so far it has been only me – to sit in solemn silence in the jar in a pool of heavily symbolic water for a specified meditation period.
I have been penalized in this endeavor because it has cost quite a lot of money. It is well worth it, however, because I know that once the aims and ideals of my new Lodge get out to the general public, a storm of interest will be created and folks throughout the land will flock to our banner, eager to join.
Offered over the internet, for the average person an annual payment of thirty-eight dollars will be all that will be required for full-time membership. This will include, at no extra cost, our monthly bulletin and of course the chance to use the Lodge Mason jar from time to time.
I offer this as a special investment opportunity to you, Larry, because you are my brother-in-law and you know how lucrative it can be to get in on the ground floor when something exciting and promising is about to take off. A mere three thousand dollars from you will do it – an investment that will almost certainly increase greatly in value over the years. (Don’t listen to your sister.)
It would be a tragedy if this marvelous step toward a new tomorrow failed just because of a few dollars.
Hope to hear from you – regards, Phil.
(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)
1 year ago