Monday, January 11, 2010

Acai is Just Acai

I don’t usually burden others with my problems, but I have to tell you about a recurring nightmare I’ve been having.

I guess it’s because I’ve read so many good health-good nutrition articles over the past years.

In my nightmare, the setting is always the same. I find myself in a strange, surreal, fog-covered area, next to a large building.

Then it begins. A person who’s wearing a white coat – looking very much like a medical professional of some kind – emerges from the building and begins shouting at me.



I am of course asleep, so I can’t understand all that well but what he shouts seems to have something to do with almonds.

“Eat almonds!” he cries. “Almonds are IT! They make you live longer and happier. They’ve got protein and things like that.”

But as he’s shouting, he is brusquely shoved aside by another white-coated chap who hollers even louder: “No, it’s walnuts! Don’t listen to this guy. Walnuts are better because they contain both zinc and boron!”

At this moment, another individual, also wearing a white coat, emerges from the building, pushes the two men aside and then he too begins yelling at me:

“It’s blueberries! Here in our lab we have demonstrated conclusively that blueberries contain nutrients and nutriments – both of ‘em! So blueberries are all you need. Blueberry jam, preserves, any kind of blueberries.”

Sleepy though I am, I happen to notice there’s a quiet, kindly-looking gentleman off to the side who looks like he wants to say something too.

“Forgive me for mentioning it,” he says, “but I’d like to put in a word for Brazil nuts. They contain riboflavin.”

“YOU contain riboflavin,” one of the other men says in a rude tone, “and a lot of it.”



“Stop the presses! Hold the front page for replate!” shouts another guy who has just rushed out of the building and who has perhaps seen too many 1930s newspaper movies. “What you’ve got to eat is: acai! Acai is a miracle berry from the Amazon and it not only tastes good it will actually cure every disease you’ve got, including some you don’t have yet.”

At this point, I wake up from my nightmare, exhausted.

And quite confused. :-)

15 comments:

willow said...

Sounds to me like maybe you need to eat a healthy snack before you go to bed! Heh-heh, maybe you're just hungry?

lakeviewer said...

It's not a nightmare. It's the chatter in the medical profession that confuses us.

Berowne said...

Willow: "Sounds to me like maybe you need to eat a healthy snack before you go to bed!"

H'mm. Maybe it's late snacks that are the problem? :-)

Berowne said...

lakeviewer: "It's the chatter in the medical profession that confuses us."

Very true. However, I can forgive them for a lot because they informed me that dark, really dark, chocolate -- which is what I like best -- was good for me. :-)

Madame DeFarge said...

I'd be queasy at the thought as I cannot stand almonds or their derivatives. Yuck. Big nightmare for me.

Berowne said...

Mme DeF.--
That's interesting. De gustibus non est disputandum, as the old saying goes. :-)

Oh My Goddess said...

I feel like such a boron myself right now.

I'd go for the Acai. It's very tasty mixed with Gin.

And some almonds dipped in chocolate.

I think you can tell where I'm going with this.

Berowne said...

Oh My Goddess: "Acai. It's very tasty mixed with Gin. And some almonds dipped in chocolate. I think you can tell where I'm going with this."

Toward cardiac arrest?

(Jes' kiddin')

French Fancy said...

They are all such well-marketed products - people fixate on the latest 'super food' and forget all the other humdrum things that are just as good (oranges, carrots etc) that are not as glamorous.

Utah Savage said...

I've never seen Acai nor heard of it. Now I have to have some. I do agree that Oh My Goddess has a good idea concerning the dark chocolate coated almonds. I make it a habit to eat a small amount of a variety of nuts and dark chocolate before bed and I have blueberries on my cereal for breakfast, when I have breakfast.

Nice to see a new face at my place. Especially another savage.

Berowne said...

FF: "...things that are just as good (oranges, carrots, etc.)"

Right. And you have to wonder what the freezing conditions down south might do to the orange crop this year.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Don't worry, in about 3 years you'll have that same dream, but instead of these people telling you the benefits they will be shouting how horrible these foods are for you.

Berowne said...

An interesting point. Perhaps an example of this is the current backlash against organic food.

Chef Chuck said...

Healthy dreams, makes healthy people!

Berowne said...

Chef Chuck: "Healthy dreams, makes healthy people!"

Can't argue with that! :-D

 
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