Tuesday, June 15, 2010


"V" is for "Vehicle"
I’m ashamed of my vehicle.
How do you think it makes me feel? To have to drive around in an eleven-year-old automobile without a sun (or, as far as that goes, moon) roof, with doors that have to be opened with a key, and without a system that would show me my global position?
It’s humiliating, that’s what it is.
I don’t have any strange woman with a soothing, cultivated voice emanating from my dashboard telling me how to drive. I don’t have digital maps to study (while I try to drive) that indicate where my favorite restaurant is to be found; I don’t have basics like a huge, surround-sound, multiple-speaker system. I don’t have a “spoiler” on my rear “deck.” (In fact, my car doesn’t even have a heated steering wheel, an air freshener or leopard-skin seat covers.) The list of things my present vehicle doesn’t have goes on and on.

All I have is a 11-year-old vehicle like the above that is good to look at (the design of the ’99 model was classic and holds up nicely today), works well, never causes headaches or problems, and gets top highway mpgs.
And I'm fairly convinced that it could last another 11 years.
Surely a highly successful business entrepreneur like me (ha!) should instead have a very expensive, spiffy, luxury car with the whole panoply of gadgets, gizmos and other often useless accessories that so many of the newer models have. Without such items, how will I impress people as I drive around?
As I say, it’s humiliating. But I guess I'll put up with the humiliation for a few more years. :-)


SparkleFarkle said...

*sings all Ides of Marchy (<-- "Click")*

But it's your vehicle, baby!
It'll take you anywhere you wanna go.
It's your vehicle, mistah!
But I'm not sure that you know
That it loves ya (loves ya),
I needs ya (needs ya),
I wants ya, gots to have you, child,
Great God in heaven, you know it loves you!

Berowne said...

Terrific, thanks. You really put the sparkle in my farkle today!

Derrick said...

How do you dare take to the streets, Berowne?!

sheri... said...

you know, at first i had to agree with you because i couldn't see such a classy guy driving something that 'old', without all the bells and whistles! but i can see that you're more than i have imagined- that you're a man of wisdom, constraint, and sensibilities. your car is as classy as you are, of this i'm sure :)
i drive a '98 escort wagon that doesn't look so hot but it hauls four grandkids with ease ;)

Mara said...

Mine has handlebars, only two wheels and a saddle. Oh, and it's green both in colour and in environmentally good. Some would class it as a bicycle.

On the other hand, I drive a big 50-seater coach every day...

Leslie: said...

I'm just like you with my 10-year-old model, but you know it's the best vehicle I've ever owned. It does have heated seats, but the d*mn driver's seat doesn't work anymore and I don't want to fork over $400+ to get it fixed. It's my baby and I'll happily pay for maintenance work on it. I love your model, too, and I bet you love it as much as I do mine. Great post!

Manang Kim said...

Mine is 10 years old already and still doing a good service for me. Taking me from where I like and didn't give me a headache yet. Happy Wednesday!

ABC Wednesday~V

Berowne said...

Derrick: "How do you dare take to the streets, Berowne?!"
Only with a deep sense of shame. :-)

Berowne said...

Mara: "Some would class it as a bicycle. On the other hand, I drive a big 50-seater coach every day..."
Don't you ever get the two mixed up? :-)

Berowne said...

sheri: "you're a man of wisdom, constraint, and sensibilities."
That's what I keep telling everyone around here, but usually no one listens! :-)

Tumblewords: said...

First, I laugh. My auto is 20+ and still runs like a charm knocking on wood)and gets better mileage than the required minimum. It's unlikely that a lowly blogger, starving poet would gain higher visability with a newer car. Now, I laugh again. Good post!

Changnoi said...

It looks brand new - how do you do that?

Stan Ski said...

At least you have one to take pride in.

photowannabe said...

I have an humiliating car too. Honda Accord 1997. Its been great and is just a bit tired now but heck it gets us where we need to go and its been paid for for many years.
Yours looks so well loved.

Gayle said...

Maybe you could work out a trade with Sam (#46 on the ABC list). Ah...maybe not. Looks like he's got a real clunker, too. And much older than yours. Nah...would never work.

Jingle said...

that's fancy and fabulous v post.

here is mine:

Roger Owen Green said...

damn, sparkle farkle beat me to ides of march. i bike and bus myself.

how do you get up in the morning. shocking ;- 0

R. Burnett Baker said...

Be proud. Be very proud. But PLEASE just park it around the corner and down the block....! I mean, what will the neighbors think?


Berowne said...

Rick: "I mean, what will the neighbors think?"
You ought to see some of the clunkers THEY drive. :-)

brenda w said...

Gauche, utterly, horribly, terribly, gauche. ha!

Berowne said...

brenda w.: "Gauche, utterly, horribly, terribly, gauche. ha!"
Thanks. I am a direct descendant of Charles de Gauche.

Shirley Landis VanScoyk said...

Well Done!

As a licensed vehicle salesperson, I have to say, "Those Camry's - you can weld the hood shut, man, they just run forever"

There is joy in a clunker. I had a Fiat Spyder once, and an Opel Kadett Station Wagon, and a Buick Regal, and yes, a Camry with 275,000 on it when it finally died.

Berowne said...

Shirley LVS: "As a licensed vehicle salesperson..."
Glad to have a professional opinion. :-)

Anna said...

Vehicle is a good V-word. I don't really understand all of your post. I am not sure if you are serious or if you are ironic.

I would just like to point out that if your vehicle gets you where you need to go, what does it matter that it is not new?

I don't own any vehicle. I only have a bicycle or I take the tram, bus or walk. (But I do have a driver's license and I know how to drive.)
Best wishes,

Anna's V-word

Madame DeFarge said...

You mean you drive yourself around? I'm shocked. I expected you to have a driver. At least one.

mrsnesbitt said...

Thanks so much for your contribution - my vehicle is a Toyota Pickup! We have had it since new and I think it is 10 years old this year! New cars are a vast waste of money as they depreciate so quickly dont you think?
I try to visit as many contributors as possible each week but sometimes I just dont manage it, but we have a great ABC team and between us we see that everybody gets a comment. We are coming to the end of the current round and plans are in store for the next round, I do hope you will be part of the fun! If you would like to be part of the team just drop me an e-mail :-

denisebydesigns at googlemail dot com

Berowne said...

Mme DeF: "You mean you drive yourself around? I'm shocked. I expected you to have a driver."
My chauffeur gets one day off a week.

Stafford Ray said...

Hate to point this out, but your comments are at least as good a read as original posts. You attract a better class of commentators!
My car turned 20 this year. Waiting for a pure electric to turn me on.

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