Magpie 55

(To the tune of "Lemon Tree")
When I was just a lad of ten, my father said to me,
"Come here and take a lesson from the lovely lemon tree.
Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is cool.
But never use a lemon as a kind of killing tool.”


I learned that there were knives and guns and even strangling rope.
But lemon as a weapon? You’d have to be a dope.
Such killing would be messy and would leave a lot of blood.
Your new career as hit man would be nipped right in the bud.

With a huge and heavy grapefruit you’d have at least a chance.
But a “killer lemon”? Silly – it’s clear right at first glance.
“Take my advice,” said my old man, “and never join a mob.
Avoid all citrus slaughter – get a different kind of job!”