Sunday, December 18, 2011

For Three-Word Wednesday, ABC Wednesday and Magpie 96

"W" is for "Whim"
In the old days, when my son was young, we tried home-schooling. A typical class would go like this…
“Did you find the play difficult?”
“Not really, Dad. I got through it okay.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, it’s about this couple, Lady Macbeth and her husband, Mister Macbeth.”
“That’s a good start. Go on.”
“They’ve got this friend – wait a minute, I’ve got his name here somewhere – yeah, it's Duncan; I knew it had something to do with donuts. Anyway, they’ve got this friend named Duncan who comes to visit. Didn’t turn out well. He sort of checked in and didn’t check out, if you see what I mean.”
“You mean he was killed?”
“You could put it that way.”
“And who did the killing?”
“Well, that’s the thing. They both were in on it, Lady MacB and her old man. Both of ‘em. At first it was just a whim; something they talked about, but then it got serious. Actually, MacB had a firm belief that you didn’t do stuff like that – kill your best friend -- but she egged him on. ‘You can do it! You de man!’ she’d yell at him, and like that.”
“So he went along and committed the murder?”
“Exactly. Here’s a picture of the couple after the killing.”

“H’mm. Some picture. She looks a bit rumpled, and he’s just a shadow.”
“You gotta remember that photography was very new in those days.”
“What about motive? Why did they kill Duncan?”
“Well, you see, Macbeth had a title; he was Thane of Cawdor. Now I guess Cawdor wasn’t much of a town so being Thane of it was sort of small potatoes, if you see what I mean. He wanted something better.”
“As did Lady Macbeth?”
“Oh, man, did she ever! She figured that if they offed Duncan she could wind up as First Lady. She’d be able to throw all the festive parties and so on. Which is exactly what happened.”
“But later she had a change of heart?”
“You’re assuming she had a heart to begin with. But yeah, after a while she began to feel pretty crummy about having liquidated their friend. In fact, it seems she was totally heading over to the unhinged side of town, if you follow my meaning.”
“You do have a novel way of putting things.”
“Show you how crazy she was, she had a dog named Spot. An indoors-type of pooch; never liked the outdoors. She’d yell at him: ‘Out, damned Spot!’ but he wouldn’t budge.”
“I see. A bit of humor.”
“Gotta do something to liven up these lessons.”
“What later happened to Macbeth?”
“Well, actually, I didn’t read any farther than this. As I get it, the dude wound up in a forest named Dunsinane, or something like that. Probably got lost in it. Things like that happened a lot in those days.”

41 comments:

Leslie: said...

From the mouths of babes...priceless! I just might share this with some of my students. :D

Roger Owen Green said...

Hey, now I don't have to read it!
Wait a minute, I DID read it...

Kathe W. said...

oh hahahah so cleverly twisted!

zongrik said...

cute rendition for this plot, i mean prompt

Doctor FTSE said...

Splendid fun! Wonder what your home pupil made of Act V, Scene 3 -
Macbeth "The devil damn thee black, thou cream faced loon."

Lydia said...

Something to do with donuts! And that was just the first big laugh for me. :) I loved this. Think I will share it with my next-door neighbor, who home-schooled their son for two years. He's back at public school this year, having told her she did a "good enough job to prepare him."

izzy said...

Crummy- Yeah they would have felt like over eaten ice cream and cake- x1000-

DCW said...

Better than Cole's Notes.

Helen said...

.... and there you have it, class dismissed! This is great ... Happy Holidays.

Suz said...

oh this gave me a huge smile
so well done and so much fun
especially the spot

jabblog said...

Thank you for the smiles - wonderful stuff:-)

Ann Grenier said...

Certainly a unique, up to date rendition of the play. Great take on the ID of the Lady and the Shadow...

Brian Miller said...

ha nice...slightly modernized...and if only he had an iphone with the app he could have found his way out of the forest you know...smiles...love to hear a kids take on classics...

Lyn said...

Could hardly make it past the dismissal of Spot...tears of joy interfered! Please have a funny New Year.

Berowne said...

Thanks, Lyn. And a happy holiday season to you, too!

Berowne said...

Leslie, Roger O G, Kathie W, zongrik, Doc FTSE and Lydia -- thanks so much.

Berowne said...

What a lineup of fine responses to start out this holiday week. My thanks to izzy, DCW, Helen, Suz, jabblog, Ann G and Brian M.

Ms. Geek Goddess said...

Nice! :)

Isabel Doyle said...

Out of the mouths of Babes ... but poor Spot!
Excellent Sir Berowne & Happy holidays
Isabel x

Dave King said...

enjoyed a good few chuckles reading this.

Meryl Jaffe, PhD said...

Wonderful post! Thanks for the smile I leave with, and wishes to you for a happy holiday and new year.

ds said...

*chortle!* If the next production of the Scottish Play includes a dog, I'll know who's responsible ;-) Thanks for the laughs, and Happy Holidays to you!

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, I love it! Just hilarious. It brings back so many memories. I was home-schooling my youngest brother (in Mexico) when he was at the age to read Macbeth, and we re-wrote it into a gangster story, with Lady MacB as her husband's gun moll. We probably had more fun than any other two writers in Mexico that year.
Thanks so much for this. Now I must send it to Rob. He'll love it.
All the best for the holiday season and the coming year.

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Tumblewords: said...

A welcome bit of shadowy fun!

Nicholas V. said...

HA! Very good, I liked this one a lot. Unlike my usually glum poems I went for humour this week also.
Hope you and yours have a great Christmas!

helenmac said...

Your whims are wonderful!
HelenMac
ABC Wednesday Team

Berowne said...

Thanks so much, HelenMac, for the whims-ical comment. :-)

Berowne said...

My thanks and the newest, shiniest, most highly-polished holiday wishes to Ms G Goddess, Isabel D, Dave K, Meryl J, ds, Kay L D, Tumble W and Nicholas V.

MaryA said...

We need you teaching in our schools today. I chuckled my way through this. Great holiday piece.

Anonymous said...

Dear Berowne: You should get another metal for this one! (no Medalling this week, we're into the classics again this week aren't we?) The colloquial being quite a stretch even for a HS (Home Spun) for the old sin-lapses these days!Remembers when I tried to do the same! Funny McBerowne!!! Loves out damn Spot! McDruff could have driven it out of 'er if it t'weren't for the old Lady McB who was so sick and tired of 'im she kicked "all to
be vanquished until great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane Hill shall come against him." Spot attack! Chiccoreal
Chiccoreal

Sheilagh Lee said...

too funny I could just see your son saying this.

Berowne said...

MaryA: "We need you teaching in our schools today."
My understanding is that the schools have enough problems. :-)

oldegg said...

Despite your last reposnse to MaryA I agree with her. Getting students to interpret their reading of the play through their eyes can be so beneficial...and a laugh as well. That is the trouble with teaching teenagers, they don't think the way we do. I certainly didn't think rationally then but I had a lot of fun regardless. PS. I don't rationally now either.

He ment well (sometimes did) said...

Thank you for your visit! I like how you combine 3ww with the pie...Good writing.

Zouxzoux said...

Oh, I enjoyed this very much! You made me smile.
Thank you for your kind words on my blog post.

Alice Audrey said...

Tsk. Got so close to the end, and missed the best blood bath of the whole play.

Berowne said...

Chiccoreal: "Funny McBerowne!!!"
You've made me an honorary Scot? I accept the honor; thanks and -- happy holidays!

Berowne said...

Shelaigh Lee: "Too funny." Zouxzoux: "You made me smile."
Glad I have readers with a sense of humor -- thanks.

helenmac said...

Snoo? I dunno, what's new with you?
Walt Kelly, where are you? We need you now more than ever!
Merry Christmas, Berowne!

ninotaziz said...

Meery merry Christmas,Berowne!

Berowne said...

And a meery merry Christmas to you, ninotaziz!

 
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