Berowne's 271 Quiz

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "trouble")

For my quiz question this week I take the liberty of using something I posted years ago, because I wanted to see what the answers might be today.                             

Let’s go back a number of decades, back to when I first entered the service. I had a friend in boot camp – let’s call him “Ed” because that wasn’t his name – and we hung out a lot, talking about what we might do in the future.

One day, after we had finished boot camp, he confessed something to me. He was very excited about it. He knew it should be kept secret, but he just had to tell someone and he felt he could trust me.

It was a plan Ed had been working on for quite a while. Well before he joined the Navy he had been visiting a small city located in the central part of our state. What was unusual about these visits is that he had managed to obtain a uniform of a lieutenant-commander, complete with service and combat ribbons, and he illegally wore this when he paid the visits.   
 

In that community there weren’t many military types and very few Navy personnel – and no shore patrol. A Lieutenant-Commander, especially one with a couple of rows of ribbons, was privileged to be everywhere. He had visited some local church affairs and other such functions and had managed to meet a beautiful girl.

Quite unbelievably, after a number of dates he had proposed and the girl, undoubtedly a bit dazzled by this remarkable young naval officer, had accepted. Her folks had met him and had welcomed him enthusiastically into the family.

Now that Ed was out of boot camp, he was actually going to go up in his fake uniform and marry her.  He had managed to convince everyone there that his folks were in Africa doing some sort of relief work, so they wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding.

It all seemed weird and unreal. I wondered what I should do.

A: Should I call this family on the phone (I knew their name so I thought I could get in touch with them) and tell them that their future son-in-law was no heroic naval commander but an ordinary sailor of the lowest rank?

Or B: Should I notify the military authorities that there’s a guy illegally roving about that area in a fake lieutenant-commander’s uniform?

Or C:  Should I just sit down with Ed and try to talk him out of it, to convince him that he’s not only going to be causing misery and a lot of trouble for the girl and for her family, but that he’s heading into a lot of trouble himself.

Or D: Should I just ignore it all, figure it's stale news and try to forget about it?  After all, the marriage might turn out well; the couple might be happy together, even after it came out that his officer’s commission, and his ribbons, were phony - but that seemed highly unlikely.

Ed and I received our assignments and we went off in different directions so I heard no more from him. As far as I know, the wedding took place on schedule; I have no idea how it turned out.

But my weekly quiz question is really about you. What’s your opinion? What would you have done in such a situation?

270 Quiz Answer

Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, born in 1869, was a Russian peasant who became a mystical faith healer  for the RussianTsar's family.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "S" is for "scoundrel".)

The following scenelet should suggest a well-known historical figure to you.  Who is it?

“Sir, I’ve prepared a complete report on Brock, everything he’s been doing for the past month along with a lot of intimate background information.”

“Fine.  I know I asked you to do all that - and don’t worry you’ll be paid – but the situation has changed.”

“Changed?  How?”

“As you know, I was convinced that Mr. Brock was a total phony, a sort of con man, but it turns out I was wrong.”

“Well, that’s interesting.  Our investigation convinced us that a total phony is exactly what he is.”

“I know, I know.  But results don’t lie.  He can actually do what he claims he can do.  He worked what was practically a miracle on my son, who as you know has been sick for most of his life.”

“What do the doctors have to say about Brock?”

“The doctors!  Don’t get me started on the doctors!  For years my wife and I went to the best medical specialists in the country and they all said the same thing about Jimmy – sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

“And this character, who sort of walked in off the street, cured your son?”

“Not completely.  But when Brock used his unique faith-healing skills Jimmy suddenly got much better.  My wife is overcome with gratitude.  Finally, someone who can actually do something!”

“Sir, I’m sure you know that any serious illness can have brief periods of remission.   Sounds like Brock got the benefit of one of those periods.”

“Don’t try telling that to my wife.  She’s been thirsting for years for an effective healer.”

“But surely someone should tell her that he has no medical training; in fact, he wasn’t able to finish high school.  He’s barely literate.  As far as his position in society is concerned, the guy is just another low-class scoundrel.  He has used this faith-healing routine in the past on a number of people.”

“What do we care about his past?  It’s something to watch him in action.  First off, he’s impressive just in his jagged appearance - he’s six-four or something like that - and you can see he has unusual powers when you get a glimpse of those amazing eyes of his - hypnotic.  And he has a unique language he uses when he’s doing his healing.  My wife is convinced that this is someone who has extraordinary gifts.”

(The answer will be posted Saturday.)   

269 Quiz Answer

Candide is the writer Voltaire’s bitter but humorous criticism of power, wealth, religion and, of all things, optimism.  The story follows the adventures of Candide, a young man in love with a woman of a much higher social class. When their love is thwarted, Candide lives through a series of ludicrously awful events in order to be reunited with his sweetheart.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "R" is for "remarkable")

Now, here’s a piercingly sad story if there ever was one.

It’s the remarkable tale of a young fellow who had all kinds of luck, most of it bad.

Funny thing; thanks to a generous noble patron, a baron, he grew up in comfort in a wealthy home and he had a fleshy tutor who had a very positive view of things.  He tried to instill in the young guy a belief that this old world is pretty great and whatever happens is for the best.

For a while that seemed to be true.  Our boy fell in love with the baron’s beautiful daughter and went so far as to kiss her once, but this got him kicked out of the house.

From there things sort of went clean downhill.

He was drafted into the army and got beaten regularly, so he went AWOL.  While he was on the run he saw his old tutor, the whatever-happens-is-for-the-best guy, who now had an STD and was begging in the street.

To top things off, he learned that the love of his life, the baron’s daughter, had been killed by enemy soldiers.

This would have discouraged just about anyone, but the young dude decided to go on.  He went to Portugal, for some reason, and arrived just as a massive earthquake, one of the largest in history, kind of wiped out the entire place.

But it wasn’t all bad.  He learned the good news that his girlfriend had survived the murder attempt; the bad news was that she had become a slave in Turkey.

And you think you have problems.

Anyway, in his peregrinations our boy had managed to accumulate quite a few pesetas, francs, marks and whatever, so he was able to go to Turkey and buy his girl’s freedom.  However, what with all she had been through she was pretty much a wreck.

The remarkable end to their story?  They bought a small property and spent all their time doing farm work; somehow this made them happy.

Please give us the name of the young guy.  (If you want to also give us the name of the girl as well as the name of the author of this incredible story, pray do so.)

The answer will be posted Saturday.  

Berowne's 268

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "Q" is for "Queenie")

No quiz this week; just a little story...

“What does it say?”

“What does what say?”

“On the cup. The words on the cup.”

“Oh. ‘Winner, First City-Wide Dance Contest’”

“So it definitely says ‘winner’? Then we’ve got a problem.”

“Let’s go over this carefully again. The whole point of this dance contest was that it would be great publicity for Mabel Carswell, who as you know may be our next mayor. Her daughter Stella was to win and the two of them, Mom and daughter, would be writ up in our weekly Tribune and be seen holding the winner’s cup.”

“Right, and everyone understood that.”

“Evidently not everyone. Then, once the election was held, I was assured that I would be appointed City Manager. But now someone has messed up and allowed somebody else to win! You simply can’t depend on people anymore!”

“Well, it wasn’t that they were allowed to win. That girl Queenie Hasenlaufer and her partner were simply the best dancers.”

“What has that got to do with it? My job – and yours, as far as that goes – depends on Mabel’s daughter Stella winning that cup. Now, start thinking; how can we fix this?”

“Okay then, how about this? Those cups only cost thirty-five bucks. We could buy another cup, inscribe on it ‘Special Award’ or some such thing and give that to Queenie and her partner. The winner’s cup would then go to Stella and Mabel would be happy.”

“I don't mean to linger over this, but Stella didn’t win. An unimportant point to us, but it’s of great interest to the residents of our fair city.  There’d be rioting in the streets if they thought we were trying to pull something crooked.”

“Well, who let this happen? Who were the judges? Don’t they know anything about politics? We spent thousands of dollars putting this dance contest together for one reason, as support for Mabel Carswell’s campaign, and we didn’t blow all that dough to give an award to someone named Queenie!”

“Let alone someone named Hasenlaufer.”

“That's Phil; he always has an impulse to say something.  Thanks, Phil. You’ve made your contribution. Now go sit over there.”

“Suppose we let it leak out that someone has stolen the cup, since it is so valuable. So the dance festival authorities, who are you and me by the way, have decided that the only fair thing to do is to acquire another cup and award it to both Queenie and Stella. They’ll be co-winners. Queenie will ultimately get the cup to keep and Stella in the meantime gets her photo op, holding the dam’ thing with her Mom for the local media.”

“You don’t know much about Mabel Carswell, do you? The only thing that would mean anything to her would for her daughter to win – which is what I guaranteed her would happen. Way things are going, someone else is going to wind up as City Manager and I’ll be back to convincing folks that they may be able to save fifteen percent on their car insurance, like that little green rodent on TV.”

“Well, as far as I can see, that ‘co-winner’ solution is all we’ve got. How about it, Phil? Have you got anything else to suggest?”

“Well, in hauntingly tight situations like this it was always encouraging for me when I remembered what my Dad used to say: When the tough get going – or when you go getting tough – something like that, whatever – but it was always encouraging.”

267 Quiz Answer

“Mending Wall” is one of the poet Robert Frost’s popular poems, a story of a wall that sits between two properties in the countryside.  Familiar lines from the poem are “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall” and “Good fences make good neighbors.”

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "P" is for "Pell")

The following scenelet should remind you of a well-known literary work.  Give us its name.

“I really appreciate your seeing me on such short notice.  May I sit down?”

“What?  Oh, sure.  Uh - I don’t understand what this is about.”

“Well, it’s simple.  I represent your friend and neighbor, Mr Pell.”

“Pell sent you?  Why didn’t he come himself?”

“Well, I do work for him in his business, so he thought I could handle this personal situation.”

“What kind of work do you do for him?”

“I’m his attorney.”

“He sent a lawyer?  My next-door neighbor has sent a lawyer?  Again, what is this about?”

“Please relax, it’s nothing serious.  It’s about that land you both have out back.  It needs to be fenced in so there’s a clear line of demarcation between your property and his.”

“But who says that?  It’s fine as is.”

“Not really.  Now people can just stumble from one place to another, nothing to stop them.  Things on your side can easily drift over to his property.”

“I have a couple of glorious apple trees out back.  Far as I know, no apples have ever wandered over to Pell’s area.  And if they did, so what?  They’re fine apples.”

“Believe me, situations like this often cause problems, legal problems.  I’ve handled a number of such cases.  People can live side by side in peaceful propinquity for quite a while, but…”

“Did you say ‘propinquity’?  This is quite an occasion.  I’ve never met anyone who used the word ‘propinquity’ before.”

“Well, to get to the point.  Please be assured that Mr. Pell likes you and wants very much to continue to be your friend and neighbor.  He would just like to avoid a situation that often leads to bitter problems and clearly marking off the two properties in this manner is the way to do it.”

“But I would have to go to the expense and trouble of …”

“Mr Pell would share the initial expense.  After that you would of course do the necessary maintenance on your side, repairing as necessary.”

“So I would have to constantly fix this thing, even though I see no use or need for it.”

“You’ll soon see the need.  Once it’s installed you’ll see how pleasant life can be when you have a good relationship with those who live near you.”

(The answer will be posted Saturday.) 

Berowne's 266

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "O" is for "Owen")

This is the week of Will Shakespeare’s birthday, which may – (or maybe not) - be April 23^rd.  In the following scenelet, a conscientious father grills his son, Owen, on his Shakespeare homework.

“Did you find the play difficult?”

“Not really, Dad. I got through it okay.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, it’s about this couple, Lady Macbeth and her husband, Mister Macbeth.”

“That’s a good start. Go on.”

“They’ve got this friend – wait a minute, I’ve got his name here somewhere – yeah, it's Duncan; I knew it had something to do with donuts. Anyway, they’ve got this friend named Duncan who comes to visit. Didn’t turn out well. He sort of checked in and didn’t check out, if you see what I mean.”

“You mean he was killed?”

“You could put it that way.”

“And who did the killing?”

“Well, that’s the thing. They both were in on it, Lady MacB and her old man. Both of ‘em. At first it was just a whim; something they talked about, but then it got serious. Actually, MacB had a firm belief that you didn’t do crap like that – kill your best friend -- but she egged him on. ‘You can do it! You de man!’ she’d yell at him, and like that.”

“So he went along and committed the murder?  What about motive? Why did they kill Duncan?”

“Well, you see, Macbeth had a title; he was Thane of Cawdor. Now Cawdor may have been a beautiful town but it just wasn't important, so being whatever a Thane is was sort of small potatoes, if you see what I mean. He wanted something better.”

“As did Lady Macbeth?”

“Oh, man, did she ever! She was sort of desperate; she figured that if they offed Duncan she could wind up as First Lady. She’d be able to throw all the wild parties and so on. Which is exactly what happened.”

“But later she had a change of heart?”

“You’re assuming she had a heart to begin with. But yeah, after a while she began to feel pretty cruddy about having liquidated their friend. In fact, a hush fell over her; it seems she was totally heading over to the unhinged side of town, if you follow my meaning.”

“You do have a novel way of putting things.”

“Show you how crazy she was, she had a dog named Spot. An indoors-type of pooch; he never liked the outdoors. She’d yell at him: ‘Out, damned Spot!’ but he wouldn’t budge.”

“I see. So we are going to have a bit of humor along with our lessons.”

“Gotta do something to liven things up.”

“What later happened to Macbeth?”

“Well, actually, I didn’t read any farther than this. As I get it, the dude wound up in a forest named Dunsinane, or something like that. Probably got lost in it. Things like that happened a lot in those days.”

265 Quiz Answer

Harry S. Truman was the 33rd President of the United States, from 1945 to 1953.
(Also for ABC Wednesday: "N" is for "noteworthy.")

Here’s a really quick quiz for you this week:

He had a record as a soldier that was not outstanding, but he served well and received an honorable discharge.

As an entrepreneur, a businessman, his record was worse than mediocre; he opened a shop that sold items for men – hats, ties, handkerchiefs, etc. – but the place failed.

He did not have a college education.

He had a rather unique relationship with Alamogordo, New Mexico.

Who was he?

P.S. By the way, this noteworthy gentleman had no middle name.  His parents had given him the letter "S," but only that, for a middle name.

(The answer will be posted Saturday.)

264 Quiz Answer

“Mack the Knife” is a famous song from “The Threepenny Opera,” which opened in Berlin in 1928 and was introduced to American audiences in 1933.  “Meckie Messer” is an approximation (mine) of how the Germans pronounced Mack the Knife.

“Und der Haifish, der hat Zahne

Und die tragt er im Gesicht.

Und Macheath, der hat ein Messer

Doch das Messer sieht man nicht.”

“Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear,

And he shows ‘em, pearly white.

Just a jackknife has Macheath, dear,

And he keeps it out of sight.”

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "M" is for "Meckie")

In the following conversation, Who is the well-known character they’re talking about?

“Take a look at this knife, Frank.  We think you can help us.  And maybe we’ll be able to help you.”

“Help me?  I don’t need no help.  When you don’t do nothin’ wrong, you don’t need help from cops.”

“Well, this was involved in a tense situation a couple of days ago.  Sort of a homicide.  You know that girl everyone calls Jennie T?”

“Yeah; heard of her.  Seen her around.  Why?  She in trouble?”

“Worse.  She’s dead.”

“Oh.  I don’t suppose it’s worth pointing out that I had nothin’ to do with it.”

“No, but we think you know who did.”

“Tell me, maybe I seen too much TV, too much flimsy evidence, but are you the good cop or the bad cop?”

“Oh, I’m a switch-hitter – good or bad, whatever the situation calls for.  Look, let’s cut to the chase.  We’re looking for your pal Meckie.  If that’s his name.”

“It’s his nickname, actually.”

“All we want to do is ask a few questions.  You’ll be helping him if you let us know where he is because we’ll be able to clear him that much faster.”

“Yeah, sure, I’d bet on that: all you want to do is clear him.”

“And by the way, you know that Meier robbery that’s been in all the papers?  We’re pretty sure he pulled that off.  So there’s a hefty reward if you want to cooperate.”

“I’ll tell you a funny thing about the guy, but maybe you know it already.  He does some heavy stuff but no one ever pins anything on him and whenever they question him he knows nothin’ about nothin’.  You got your work cut out, man.”

“But you had your disagreements, to say the least, with him in the past.  This is a chance to get back at him.”

“I'm not hungry to get back at him because I don’t want him to get back at me.  Let me tell you about this guy; he doesn’t even own a gun.  He usually strolls around with a just a knife, but you’d never see it until it was too late.  So I guess I’ll have to turn down your offer.”

(The answer will be posted Saturday.)