186 Quiz Answer

Ophelia, in the play “Hamlet,” by Shakespeare, is a young noblewoman of Denmark, potentially the wife of Prince Hamlet.  After she learns of her father’s death, she appears wildly before the King and Queen, who realize that she has gone mad.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "J" is for "Journalism")
I suppose you’re aware of the state of journalism these days.

Fact is, the situation of newspapers in our time is pretty bad: the number of papers that have gone through bankruptcy and closure keeps rising.

I chose this rather desperate era to spend four years getting a Journalism degree, planning on having a prestigious career with a handsome salary.  After graduation, I spent roughly another four years trying to find a job.

I came to realize that my father’s suggestion – that I go into veterinary dentistry – may not have been so wildly insane as I had originally thought.

I finally landed a position with a small newspaper in northern North Dakota.  It was a freebie - no charge for the paper, they gave it away in grocery stores. 

I became the sports editor.  No matter how much you love sports, no matter how easygoing you are, sitting in open stands covering high-school teams in temperatures that ranged from “moderate” - four below - to “chilly” - twenty below - made you start thinking how nice and warm the conditions seemed to be for employees over at Wendy’s.

But enough of those problems.  Things changed.  The big news is that there was a contest held for the state’s Journalist of the Year.  I’m pleased to report that I won.  They wanted someone to represent northern North Dakota and I was evidently one of the few journalists there who wasn’t frozen solid.

But seriously, this was a big deal.  I didn’t get much in the way of currency but as the winner I was sent to our nation’s capital, which as I understand it is in Washington, D C.  I know you’ll find this difficult to believe but I wound up covering a press conference in the famous Oval Office.

The Prez and the Veep were discussing something important and I was busy taking notes so that it would look like I understood what they were talking about.  Then the most incredible thing happened.

The beautiful daughter of one of our most important political leaders came bursting into the room.  She, of course, is known throughout our land.  She is always held up as a model for today’s youth: quiet, dignified, proper.

But on this occasion she was raving – she seemed to be what I believe is known as “of unsound mind.”  She was disheveled; you might almost say bedraggled.  And she proceeded to sing some very raunchy songs, highly inappropriate in such a setting.

Well, it was all hushed up, which is why you probably never heard of it.

 The above is all foolishness.  But as for the weekly Berownial quiz, there’s something in it that might remind you of a Shakespeare play.

Which play?

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

185 Quiz Answer

“Life of Pi” is a motion picture about an Indian boy named Piscine Molitor Patel, known as “Pi” (who was named after a Paris swimming pool, a piscine).  Pi survives 227 days after a shipwreck while stranded on a lifeboat in the Pacific Ocean with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "I" is for "incredible.")

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question, short and sweet. 

Well, short anyway.

In a famous film Mr. Parker, who is dangerous - dangerous enough to make you cringe - co-stars with a kid named after a swimming-pool.  Their incredible relationship blossoms, in a way, as they commit one blunder after another while trying to survive after a shipwreck..

But I digress - what’s the name of the film?

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

184 Quiz Answer

Answer: One of Charles Dickens's best-known characters, Wilkins Micawber is a melodramatic, basically kind-hearted and rather foolish gentleman, a friend of young David Copperfield.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "H" is for History)

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.

In my study of history, one institution that always fascinated me was the debtors’ prison.

This setup, a jail for folks who can’t pay their debts, has been around since ancient times.  In 19^th-century England, it was a big deal.  It shows how something quite illogical, something that makes little sense, can stay in existence for centuries.

I mean, look at it this way.  Time-travel with me back to about 1850; good Queen Victoria is on the throne, which is quite appropriate since it was the Victorian era.

Let’s say that in London there’s a chap who is having a rough time, financially.  His credit card is maxed out, etc., and he doesn’t know where his next tuppence is coming from.  He is, in short, a debtor.

So in he goes, into the lockup.  What’s illogical, of course, is that while he was outside he could at least work to pay off his debt; inside he can do nothing but sit there.  So he does, sometimes for years.

To top things off, he is charged for his room and board while he is in the cooler – and of course he can’t pay for that either.

As a humanitarian gesture the authorities would at times allow the families to join the debtors, so you’d have a father, the missus, and several little kiddies all crammed into one small cell.

The writer Charles Dickens knew all about this system.  His father, who had the same last name, was arrested and sent to debtors’ prison when his son was twelve years old.  The disgusting aspect of these jails is often described in Dickens’s novels.

All of which brings me to one of my favorite fictional characters.  I think many of us have met him in real life.  He’s the one who is great with rhetoric; he’ll stand there and orate about the state of the country and its future, and he’s eager to tell of the projects he’s working on that are going to make wads of dough, but he’s never been able to hold a steady job or make a tolerable living.  He’s always trying to borrow money or figuring out ways to avoid creditors.

But, funny thing is, I sort of like the guy; he’s entertaining and he doesn't pout - he somehow he manages to stay good-humored.  (I have to admit I want him to stay out of debtors’ prison.)

In addition, he never gives up hoping.  He assures his wife: “Something will turn up.” 

What’s his name?

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

183 Quiz Answer

In the book “The Great Gatsby,” by F Scott Fitzgerald, the advertisement of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg consists of a pair of fading, bespectacled eyes painted on an advertising billboard, a dominant symbol within this novel. 

(Also submitted to Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "G" is for Dr. Goodman.)

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.

With this week's prompt in mind - a road into town - I wrote the following scenelet, thinking it might remind you of a well-known novel.  Which novel?

“Well, I don’t know.  I was brought up in the day when doctors didn’t advertise, especially not with billboards.”

“But, Dr. Goodman, yours is a special situation.  As an eye doc what you need...”

“Optometrist.”

“Right.  What you need is immediate brand awareness as well as long-term recall.  You want recognition as a highly qualified professional, and you want to sell eye-glasses too.  And that’s where we at SkillMedia come in.  Billboard advertising has the capability of engaging your target audience like nothing else, in addition to extending the reach and effectiveness of your marketing message.”

“I wasn’t aware that I had a marketing message, but I guess I do.  Just where were you planning to place this sign?”

“You know the saying – the key to success is location, location, location!  Doctor Goodman, your powerful ad will be on the main highway from Long Island into New York City.  You may anticipate getting ‘em going in to work and heading home.”

“Long Island?  I can see that’s a lot of people, a lot of working stiffs.  I’m sorry to be elitist, but I would prefer reaching an upscale audience.”

“Ah, well, I hope you’ll forgive me if I offer a slight correction about Long Island.  You know there on the north shore, around the town of West Egg and other such communities, that’s the gold coast.  The only people there who aren’t millionaires are multi-millionaires, and they all drive into New York too.  Which means they’re all going to be impacted by your sign.”

“And what exactly is going to be on that sign?”

“Our design team at SkillMedia have come up with something brilliantly simple yet powerfully effective.  Try to picture a solitary person – it will be you, by the way – seen in an extreme closeup, filling the entire billboard.  You will of course be wearing eye-glasses and you will be serenely engaging your target audience, staring right at them.”

“H’mm.  I don’t know.  Folks could think I’m awfully pretentious, as though I was pretending to be some sort of holy spirit fearlessly judging mankind, or whatever.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be so bad, assuming it sells eye-glasses.”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

182 Quiz Answer

The answer, as most folks seem to know, is: the biblical story of the loaves and the fishes.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "F" is for "Food Service")

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.

The following is my distinctly new-age variation of an old, well-known story.  What story?

“I think we’re in trouble.”

“Oh, you’re always worrying.  Relax.  Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Have you looked out there?  There’s literally a ton of people waiting, thousands of ‘em.”

“So?  That’s good.  That’s great.  We wanted this meeting to be a big success.  Our message is powerful beyond measure."

“But they’re all expecting to be fed.  We weren’t prepared for such a huge group.”

“I told you, the job of feeding everyone has been turned over to Christopher, a food service specialist.  He’s the expert in this kind of thing.  He’ll take care of it.”

“So when does he plan to get here?”

“He’ll be here; he’s very dependable.  And he’ll handle all aspects of the food service.  No problem.”

“He mentioned his menu.  Some kind of seafood dish?  Does he know we don’t have refrigeration?”

“Will you stop being irrational!  This is what he does.  You can be sure he’s thought of everything.”

“I was reading this leaflet they passed out to all the folks out there.  It’s a joke!  You think I'm just being sullen?  Listen to this: in addition to the main, and evidently only, dish, it says ‘Each person will also receive a slice of healthy, organic whole-grain bread.’  They get a slice of bread!  What a meal!  We’ll be lucky if they don’t come after us with pitchforks after a lunch like that!”

“I’m telling you, he’s done this many times before.  Every time there were some who challenged him – you can’t serve a huge number of people with such a limited menu, they said.  But he did.  He’s a pro - he’ll pull it off.”
(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

181 Quiz Answer

 This week's answer: "Psycho" is an American suspense film directed by Alfred Hitchcock and starring Anthony Perkins and Janet Leigh.
(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "E" is for "Ellen")
Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.
I wrote the following, thinking it might remind you of a very well-known motion picture.  Your assignment, should you decide to accept it, is: name the movie.

My friend Ellen has a problem and she wants my advice.

First off, I should tell you that Ellen and I go way back; we were in high school together.

I thought I knew her well.  I would not have guessed that she, a grown woman now, would ever find herself in the situation she’s in.  Trouble is, I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to solve her problem, which is unfortunate because I would certainly do anything I could to be of help.

I’m afraid that it’s strictly a legal situation she’s mixed up in.  Calling the police would solve it but that may well mean she’d be arrested for what, from what she tells me, was basically a criminal act.

Again, she’s the last person I’d ever think would leave the habitual straight and narrow path and actually do such a thing but the fact is, she stole some money – a large amount.

She was working for a fairly successful real estate company and was doing fine at her job.  One day a man came in who had been shown a certain home and had decided to buy it.  He walked in with a huge bag of cash to seal the deal.  Ellen took care of all the paper work and realized she should get the cash to the bank as soon as possible.

As she drove off in her car she thought of all the things she could do with this pile of money.  Instead of heading for the bank she turned off onto the interstate highway.

After driving for a couple of hours, Ellen, distraught, realized she had made a huge mistake.  Her boss would have called the cops; probably the state police had her license plate number by now and were already on the lookout for her.

She decided that she would go back and try to regulate things by returning the cash next morning.  She would spend the night right where she was; there was a humble though rather creepy-looking motel nearby.
(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

180 Quiz Answer

Here's the quiz answer.

The courtship between Beatrice and Benedict is one of the things that makes the play Much Ado About Nothing so memorable.

Bea and Ben are constantly arguing, wittily, but Will Shakespeare makes it clear that they don’t really mean the spiteful remarks and are actually crazy about each other.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "D" is for "Dolores")

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.
I wrote the following; I thought it might suggest a Shakespeare play.  Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: name the play.

Dolores and Dave can’t stand each other.

Dave:  “Ah, Dolores!  Here she comes, to bring some bright sunshine into my life!  Or, more likely, some crummy storm clouds.”

Dolores:  “Don’t worry; I don’t enjoy these visits any more than you do.  I was sent here with a message for you.”

“And of course the rule is, we should not shoot the messenger.  Though we may be able to work out an exception in your case.”

“Ha!  Such dazzling wit.  All the more surprising because the remarks come from one so intellectually challenged.”

“Another Dolores insult; I won't quibble; I’ll add it to the long list I have of them.  All originals, no duplicates.  Nothing I enjoy more in the evening than to sit by the fire, my dog in my mouth and my pipe at my feet, to sift through your insults.  They’re like a book of memories!”

“Glad you appreciate them, Dave.  You deserve them.”

“You are a remarkable young woman, to be able to combine such an unpleasant personality with such an unappealing physical appearance.”

“Your self-absorbed personality, on the other hand, has given the word ‘repellent’ new meaning.  And don’t worry about my physical appearance; I do all right, if you follow my meaning.”

“Yes, of course.  I know that quite a few chaps seem to prefer a full-figured woman.”

“Ha.  I’d rather be a full-figured woman than a bone-headed man – of which there seems to be at least one in the immediate vicinity.  Well, I won't go berserk over it.  Anyway, the message is, it’s time to join the company for lunch.  So there; I can leave now.”

“Well, since we have taken care of the social niceties and sparkling repartee, will you do me the dubious honor of allowing me to accompany you?”

“The dubiousness is all mine.”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

 

179 Quiz Answer

Here's this week's quiz answer.

John Keats was one of the greatest of the English poets.  He died in 1821 at the incredible age of twenty-five.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "C" is for "Charlie.")

For centuries, innkeepers knew that the inn they operated had to have a stable.

When folks showed up to stay the night they usually arrived by equine power so the innkeeper had to have a place to park the equines.  The stable, in short, was an important part of any inn.

I mention stables because they played a large part in the life story of the chap I wanted to write about this week.  I’ll call him Li’l Charlie, because that certainly wasn’t his name.

Charlie was born, and pretty well raised, in a stable.  His father was, in other words, a hostler.  I believe our cousins across the pond say ostler, but it’s the same word: it’s the guy who took care of horses when they showed up at an inn.

When the boy was old enough he became a “stable lad,” a job that most kids of that day regarded as the work of a jackass because you spent most of your time shoveling manure, a type of work that gets old fast.

By now you’ve probably grasped the point: Li’l Charlie started out on one of the lowest rungs of life’s ladder.

However, someone spotted something special in the young chap – he seemed to be gifted in his words and in his poetic use of the English language – so they volunteered to put up the money for his education.  At the age of fifteen the fortunate youth got to study – pharmacy!

He became a licensed apothecary.

For a nascent poetic genius that may have been better than shoveling equine droppings but probably not by much.

Anyway, he continued with his splendid poetry and did pretty well with it.  He learned that beauty is truth, truth beauty, and some say he got to be better at it than anyone since Shakespeare.  It led to a rupture in his way of life.

I guess you could say no less than that he became one of the few established poets who, if things turned sour in the poetry game, could always open a drug store.

So - what was Li’l Charlie’s real name?

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)