Tuesday, June 14, 2011

For ABC Wednesday and Sunday Scribblings

“V” is for “Vinnie”
Sal: “Let’s go over this again. You gave the money to this guy – what’s his name again?”
Vinnie: “Joe. Joe Muriani.”
Sal: “You gave him the five grand? You realize that was Big Ed’s money, right?”
Vinnie: “Right. But Joe said he’d set the whole thing up – provide the boat, install the corpse, the whole deal.”
Sal: “Look at it, Vinnie. Look at the boat. It’s a rowboat, for God’s sake!”
Vinnie: “I know. When he said boat I naturally assumed it would have a motor. I think we got screwed.”
Sal: “No, Vinnie. We didn’t get screwed, you did. You bought a rowboat for five thousand dollars! If Big Ed ever hears about this…”
Vinnie: “Listen, Sal, it’s not all bad. At least we got a boat and the stiff is in it, there under the blanket. We can do what has to be done. No need to tell Big Ed about this.”
Sal: “Who is this Joe Muriani anyway?”
Vinnie: “He’s a guy I used to know years ago. From Secaucus.”
Sal: “What! You dimwit! Don’t you know we have nothin’ to do with nobody from the Secaucus family?”
Vinnie: “Look, Sal, I’ll do all the work. I’ll row the damn boat. I realize I may be partially to blame…”
Sal: “Partially! This is your show, Vinnie. The spotlight is on you. You’re gonna get full credit, believe me. If Big Ed ever hears about this…”
Vinnie: “Don’t keep saying that, Sal. Makes me nervous.”
Sal: “You got a lot to be nervous about.”
Vinnie: “Look, we row out to the spot in the harbor, tie the weight on the body and dump him in. He’ll sink right down to Danny Jones Locker.”
Sal: “Davy.”
Vinnie: “What?”
Sal: “Nothin'. What’s this, Vinnie? This is supposed to be the weight we’ll use?”
Vinnie: “Yeah, he said he was providing us with a weight that was a full kilogram. That’s – that’s heavy, right, Sal?”
Sal: “God you’re dumb! It’s nothin’; it’s a pound or two! This would be like tying a tiddleywink on the stiff and expecting that to cause him to sink. Don’t you get it, Vinnie? If this body pops back up and bobs about in the water out there for a day or two someone’s gonna spot it and it’ll get back to Big Ed. You wouldn’t like what would happen then!”
Vinnie: “I don’t like what’s happening now. Lemme look around for a big rock to use for the weight.”
Sal: “We’re supposed to be professionals, dammit! We finally got an important assignment, a real opportunity, and we’re expected to handle it like we know what the hell we’re doing. And you, you buy a crummy rowboat for five grand of Big Ed’s money and now you’re gonna look around for a big rock! I’m tellin’ ya – if Big Ed ever hears about this…!”


Roger Owen Green said...

vapid, violent dudes
ROG, ABC Wednesday team

Meryl said...

Your posts are always entertaining.

helenmac said...

Will Vinnie be vindicated in the end? Curious visitors wish to know!
ABC Wednesday Team

Kay L. Davies said...

Too funny. Poor Vinnie. Not well-endowed in the brain department, where it counts.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Leslie: said...

Vinnie is pretty vague in the brain department! Does Sal tell Big Ed? Inquiring minds want to know...

Tumblewords: said...

Pretty sure these two are up to no good and probably won't live to tell about it. The dialogue is terrific.

Steve Isaak said...

Good use of dialogue to tell a story.

Anonymous said...

quirky fun

Berowne said...

helenmac: "Will Vinnie be vindicated in the end? Curious visitors wish to know!"
Later Vinnie went on to become a state senator from Weehawken. :-)

Berowne said...

Tumblewords: "The dialogue is terrific." Steve I.: "Good use of dialogue." vivinfrance: "quirky fun."
Thanks for the fine comments.

Margaret @ BooksPlease said...

Funny! Has Vinnie get a vacuum where his brain should be?

clairz said...

Perfect beginning of... a movie? a short story?

Berowne said...

Margaret: "Has Vinnie get a vacuum where his brain should be?"
The Vinnie Vacuum -- perfect for this V day.:-)

Berowne said...

Clairz: "Perfect beginning of... a movie?"
Tell Hollywood I'm available... :-)

Lisa said...

Curiosity killed the cat...but satisfaction brought him back...so please tell us what happens to Vinnie. If he's not careful, he'll join the body in the lake.

Berowne said...

Meryl: "Your posts are always entertaining."
As are your most welcome comments. :-)

Anonymous said...

Berowne, Vinnie reminds me of a guy I used to date. His last name is not Scumbaggio, by any chance? Haha.

Great story. You never cease to amaze me with your feel for the Damon Runyon side of life. Amy

Anonymous said...

Oh, I got a kick out of this! Thanks for the smile! :D

Berowne said...

Amy: "You never cease to amaze me with your feel for the Damon Runyon side of life."
Damon Runyon? A compliment indeed; thanks.

Berowne said...

susansonnenmuses: "Oh, I got a kick out of this!"
And I got a kick out of your comment--thanks.

Ceebie said...

Love the dialogue in this one. Nicely done! And yes, the cliffhanger is quite clever :)

Berowne said...

Ceebie: "Love the dialogue in this one. Nicely done!"
Love the comment, too. Nicely done. :-)

jaerose said...

Yes, very funny...could picture the scene perfectly..likeable rogues! Jae

Pat said...

Thanks Amy - Damon Runyon was the writer I couldn't remember. This piece is worthy of him.

Altonian said...

I kept picturing those two dumb 'wiseguys' from 'Midnight Run' - absolutely terrific. Couldn't you keep it going?

Berowne said...

"Very funny," "Absolutely terrific," "Piece worthy of Damon Runyon." My sincere thanks to jaerose, Pat and Altonian.

Kim Nelson said...

Like watching a well-written sit-com!


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