For ABC Wednesday and Sunday Scribblings

“V” is for “Vinnie”
Sal: “Let’s go over this again. You gave the money to this guy – what’s his name again?”
Vinnie: “Joe. Joe Muriani.”
Sal: “You gave him the five grand? You realize that was Big Ed’s money, right?”
Vinnie: “Right. But Joe said he’d set the whole thing up – provide the boat, install the corpse, the whole deal.”
Sal: “Look at it, Vinnie. Look at the boat. It’s a rowboat, for God’s sake!”
Vinnie: “I know. When he said boat I naturally assumed it would have a motor. I think we got screwed.”
Sal: “No, Vinnie. We didn’t get screwed, you did. You bought a rowboat for five thousand dollars! If Big Ed ever hears about this…”
Vinnie: “Listen, Sal, it’s not all bad. At least we got a boat and the stiff is in it, there under the blanket. We can do what has to be done. No need to tell Big Ed about this.”
Sal: “Who is this Joe Muriani anyway?”
Vinnie: “He’s a guy I used to know years ago. From Secaucus.”
Sal: “What! You dimwit! Don’t you know we have nothin’ to do with nobody from the Secaucus family?”
Vinnie: “Look, Sal, I’ll do all the work. I’ll row the damn boat. I realize I may be partially to blame…”
Sal: “Partially! This is your show, Vinnie. The spotlight is on you. You’re gonna get full credit, believe me. If Big Ed ever hears about this…”
Vinnie: “Don’t keep saying that, Sal. Makes me nervous.”
Sal: “You got a lot to be nervous about.”
Vinnie: “Look, we row out to the spot in the harbor, tie the weight on the body and dump him in. He’ll sink right down to Danny Jones Locker.”
Sal: “Davy.”
Vinnie: “What?”
Sal: “Nothin'. What’s this, Vinnie? This is supposed to be the weight we’ll use?”
Vinnie: “Yeah, he said he was providing us with a weight that was a full kilogram. That’s – that’s heavy, right, Sal?”
Sal: “God you’re dumb! It’s nothin’; it’s a pound or two! This would be like tying a tiddleywink on the stiff and expecting that to cause him to sink. Don’t you get it, Vinnie? If this body pops back up and bobs about in the water out there for a day or two someone’s gonna spot it and it’ll get back to Big Ed. You wouldn’t like what would happen then!”
Vinnie: “I don’t like what’s happening now. Lemme look around for a big rock to use for the weight.”
Sal: “We’re supposed to be professionals, dammit! We finally got an important assignment, a real opportunity, and we’re expected to handle it like we know what the hell we’re doing. And you, you buy a crummy rowboat for five grand of Big Ed’s money and now you’re gonna look around for a big rock! I’m tellin’ ya – if Big Ed ever hears about this…!”