Magpie #20

“I got it! I think I got it. Of course, I won’t know for a day or two; there were a couple of other actresses at the audition. One of them was really good. But this time I just have a feeling – I think I got it.”
“Maria, calm down. We’ve got to talk.”
“Maria? Hey, remember? You’re not supposed to call me ‘Maria.’ I’m ‘Tracy’ now. That’s important. The agency will be calling and won’t know who you’re talking about if you say ‘Maria’ isn’t here.”
“Maria Bagnuolo is a beautiful name; nothing wrong with it; it’s you. But we’ll go along with Tracy if that’s what you want.”
“It’s not just what I want. There’s a whole new career out there for me. If I land this commercial I’ll be off to the races: I’ve got to have a suitable name. Who would have guessed that someday I’d be on TV!”
“I know. It’s exciting. But we have to talk about our – situation.”
“Ah, yes. The relationship. I thought we’d done enough talking about that.”
“Come on; some time soon I’d really appreciate an answer.”
“Sure. Of course. But asking me for an answer now, when I’ve just landed my first TV commercial, or just about landed it, is – well, this isn’t the time.”
“But by now you must know, deep down, if you want me as your husband.”
“Jeff, listen. When I met you I was impressed. You told me of your creativity, your artistic imagination, your dedication to original thinking, and how important these all were to you in your profession. So it was a bit of a letdown when I learned your profession was, you sell used cars.”
“But I’m not just another salesman! That artistic imagination, that creativity, are extremely important in my profession, the personal marketing of pre-owned vehicles.”
“Well, I guess so. But there are other things…”
“You’re talking about that toothbrush, aren’t you?”
“That’s one of them, yes.”

“Look. That morning I had lost my toothbrush and I had an urgent meeting with a customer and I couldn’t be late. So, just once, I used your toothbrush. I never thought it would bother you so much.”
“I thought it was disgusting. If that was what life with you was going to be like, you using my toothbrush and maybe other personal things…”
“But it was just once! It was an emergency. And God knows, we’ve done so many intimate things in so many ways I can’t see why my having your toothbrush in my mouth should be upsetting for you.”
“Well it is. Although… You know, this is kind of funny. This morning as I was rushing around getting ready for the audition, I couldn’t find my hair brush – so I used yours.”
“You used my new Swiss Oakwood hair brush!? You got some of that sticky crap you use on your hair on my brush? Those are genuine boar bristles on that brush."
"I'm glad to learn they're genuine boar. There are so many fake boars running around these days."
"That hair brush has caused two different customers to tell me my hair looks like George Clooney’s”
“Well, I would have said George Costanza’s. But anyway, I only used it once.”
“But it’s disgusting!”