Antonio is the
title character in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice. He is a kind and
generous merchant who has his financial interests tied up in overseas shipments
when the play begins.
Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "U" is for "Universal")
I
wrote the following compact little scenelet, thinking it might remind you of a well-known
play. Which play?
“Look, speaking as your accountant, you shouldn’t be
making financial decisions without me. Now,
is this true? You loaned a man enough
money to get married and buy a house?
How much did you give him?”
“Well, it was a substantial amount. But he’s my best friend. I was glad to be able to help out.”
“Again, how much did you give him?”
“You don’t understand. I didn’t give him anything. He’s taking out a loan and I just signed a
paper that I’d guarantee that the loan is paid back on time.”
“You guaranteed his loan? You do realize you’re just about broke? And the loan is for how much?”
“Six hundred.”
“Ouch. I know
you’re not talking six hundred dollars.
If there’s real estate involved you must mean six hundred big ones, six
hundred thousand.”
“Yes, but there’s no risk involved. I don’t have the money right now, but if
there’s any problem I’ll soon have enough coming in that will more than cover
that amount.”
“God, the way you handle finance. Look, there’s a basic rule in Accounting 101:
don’t guarantee anybody you’ll pay thousands of bucks at a time when you don’t
have two nickels to rub together.”
“I know all that.
But if you’ve got collateral…”
“Oh, collateral.
That’s different. What is the
collateral?”
“You remember Universal Shipping?”
“Universal..?”
“That shipping company that was neglected and in a state of
collapse a couple of years ago so I bought it for peanuts. You thought it was a foolish move.”
“Ah yes, so is it solvent now, bringing in lots of
peanuts?”
“You know something?
I think you’re jealous. You want
to be the know-it-all accountant and it kills you that I’m capable of pulling
off some great deals all by myself.”
“We’ll see.
But again, what is the collateral?”
“Universal Shipping – my company – has got a container ship, the ‘Universal Star,’ that
is headed home and loaded with several million bucks worth of stuff. She’s on the high seas right now and when she
ties up in port it'll be a jubilant moment because I’d be able to easily pay off that loan a few times over.”
“The ‘Universal Star’? Isn’t that the ship the Somali pirates have
taken over? Just heard it on the news.”
“What!? The
Somali..?”
“Pirates.
Maybe they like peanuts. But if the
ship doesn’t make it here, what will you do about that loan guarantee?”
(The
answer will be posted Saturday.)
