283 Quiz Answer

Critics have claimed that Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler’s favorite film person, was the greatest female film-maker of all time.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "H" is for "haughty")

Here’s this week’s question: who was she ?

“She’s an actress, Fred.   A lot of actresses think they could make a film better than the director or producer.  That doesn’t mean you should let them try.”

“She’s different.  She’s seems to have some real talent.”

“Again, they talk a good game, but just because they were a success acting a part on the silver screen doesn’t mean they know anything about the nuts and bolts of film-making.”

“So let her have a shot at it.  She might do well.”

“You don’t understand; she's haughty and arrogant.  My people are complaining.”

“Who cares?  As long as she’s got the big guy everyone calls “MM” – which as you know means “Mr Master” - on her side, she’ll continue to do as she’s doing.”

“But it’s embarrassing!  She wants to run the camera itself – you know women don’t understand mechanical things – and highly qualified cameramen are expected to stand about and do nothing.”

 

“That’s right, and say nothing too.  If they’re unhappy tell them to go directly to MM and let him know they don’t approve of his way of doing things.   Somehow I don’t think they’ll take you up on that.”

“If we get the whole film community, all respected names, to let him know that this idea of an actress working as writer-producer-director of an expensive professional film is just not a good idea, he might finally agree.”

“You don’t seem to understand how things are done in this country.”

“But if we can show anyone the amusing things she does, or tries to do, it should change anyone’s mind.”

 “She’s trying bizarre camera angles no sensible cameraman has used before.  She had another fellow spend the day digging a hole deeply so she could shoot from a low angle.  That’s foolishness.”

 

“And she’s got a guy shooting film in a wheelchair, like he’s got both legs broken, even though we have perfectly good equipment for such stuff in the studio.” 

 

“But that’s the point.  She's elastic; she doesn’t want to work just in a studio, she wants to go outside.”

“Well, you can take it from me.  If she keeps up the way she’s working she’ll be going outside sooner than she thinks, and permanently.”

(The answer will be posted Saturday.) 

For Sunday Scribblings

{Also submitted to Three-Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday)
“H” as in “Hong Kong”

A number of years ago I was shooting a film in Hong Kong.
The script called for a sequence with a Chinese farmer and his son, to be shot on a farm well outside the city. I had permission to shoot on the farm for only one day, Sunday, so we had to start early Sunday morning.
The actor playing the farmer was already at the location. With my crew I was waiting for the arrival of the boy who had been hired to play the part of the farmer’s son and who was to come with his mother. The mom, luckily, spoke good English. She would spend the day taking care of the boy while we worked.
But they were late.
We sat there and waited.
Whoever first said that time was money must have been thinking about film production. We waited some more. My confidence began to erode; it was already late, and it was getting later.
Finally, I could see the two of them hurrying toward us. The mother apologized profusely; the lad had slept late. Fine, I said, get in. Let’s go.
As we started off, the woman had a request. Her son had had no breakfast. Couldn’t we get something? He could eat it while we drove to the location.

If you’ve ever been in a position to observe an early Sunday morning in Hong Kong, you’d have the sensation that the place was closed up tight as a drum.
However, I did espy a small hole-in-the-wall sort of place that seemed to be open. It had a sign in front that read “Portuguese Cakes.”
I had no idea what those were but any port in a storm, as the saying goes. I didn’t have the heart to continue the drive without some kind of petit dejeuner for the youngster, so I gave some money to my assistant and told him to get something for the kid’s breakfast.
We waited some more.
When the assistant showed up I was startled to see that he had a large tray loaded with half-a-dozen containers of the aforesaid cakes. It seems that a Portuguese cake, at least in Hong Kong, was a variation on the cream-puff theme: each container had a sizable piece of cake on the bottom with a whopping amount of thick whipped cream on the top. It was difficult just to have to look at such rich food early in the morning.
But that kid had evidently never tasted anything like those “cakes” before; he ate them all, and with gusto.

To get back to our production, no one had told me that the farm, our location, was on top of a hill. Nor that the only way to get to it was on a small winding road – which zigged off to the left, then zagged off to the right, etc., etc.
The inevitable happened.
Our boy actor suddenly let loose with a monumental upchuck, probably of a dimension never before seen in that part of the Orient.
The rear seat of our vehicle – and unfortunately not just the rear seat – was covered with gobs of partially-digested gateaux portugais, which had somehow become transmogrified into something rather like Elmer’s Glue, except that the smell was worse.
As we continued toward the location, I could only wonder if Martin Scorsese ever had problems like this. :-)