Sunday, April 19, 2015

Berowne's 266

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "O" is for "Owen")

This is the week of Will Shakespeare’s birthday, which may – (or maybe not) - be April 23rd.  In the following scenelet, a conscientious father grills his son, Owen, on his Shakespeare homework.

“Did you find the play difficult?”

“Not really, Dad. I got through it okay.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, it’s about this couple, Lady Macbeth and her husband, Mister Macbeth.”

“That’s a good start. Go on.”

“They’ve got this friend – wait a minute, I’ve got his name here somewhere – yeah, it's Duncan; I knew it had something to do with donuts. Anyway, they’ve got this friend named Duncan who comes to visit. Didn’t turn out well. He sort of checked in and didn’t check out, if you see what I mean.”

“You mean he was killed?”

“You could put it that way.”

“And who did the killing?”

“Well, that’s the thing. They both were in on it, Lady MacB and her old man. Both of ‘em. At first it was just a whim; something they talked about, but then it got serious. Actually, MacB had a firm belief that you didn’t do crap like that – kill your best friend -- but she egged him on. ‘You can do it! You de man!’ she’d yell at him, and like that.”

“So he went along and committed the murder?  What about motive? Why did they kill Duncan?”

“Well, you see, Macbeth had a title; he was Thane of Cawdor. Now Cawdor may have been a beautiful town but it just wasn't important, so being whatever a Thane is was sort of small potatoes, if you see what I mean. He wanted something better.”

“As did Lady Macbeth?”

“Oh, man, did she ever! She was sort of desperate; she figured that if they offed Duncan she could wind up as First Lady. She’d be able to throw all the wild parties and so on. Which is exactly what happened.”

“But later she had a change of heart?”

“You’re assuming she had a heart to begin with. But yeah, after a while she began to feel pretty cruddy about having liquidated their friend. In fact, a hush fell over her; it seems she was totally heading over to the unhinged side of town, if you follow my meaning.”

“You do have a novel way of putting things.”

“Show you how crazy she was, she had a dog named Spot. An indoors-type of pooch; he never liked the outdoors. She’d yell at him: ‘Out, damned Spot!’ but he wouldn’t budge.”

“I see. So we are going to have a bit of humor along with our lessons.”

“Gotta do something to liven things up.”

“What later happened to Macbeth?”

“Well, actually, I didn’t read any farther than this. As I get it, the dude wound up in a forest named Dunsinane, or something like that. Probably got lost in it. Things like that happened a lot in those days.”

29 comments:

Altonian said...

Delightfully scatty humour, Berowne. I love the bit about Duncan having something to do with donuts (doughnuts, in English !!) :)

Berowne said...

Oh, we say doughnuts too, on ceremonial occasions.

Kathe W. said...

Hilarious start to my Sunday! Tanks for the giggles and would you please let Spot out!!

naturgesetz said...

Great Scot! (Duncan, that is.)

ccchampagne said...

We should teach all kids Shakespeare this way and perhaps it'd be easier for them to understand... Good job!

Gail said...

How delightful!

I am afraid to admit publicly I was confused about your Escher-type comment. I googled and still not sure if Escher is a good or bad thing. I'm teasing. thank you.

Kutamun said...

Seems like every second t.v show these days is a modern retelling of the machiavellan macbeth , all lust for power , lets see ... Breaking bad , house of cards , game of thrones and vikings just to name a few !

Doctor FTSE said...

What happened to MacBeth? He was MacDuffed up, was he not?

Berowne said...

Yes, that's one way of putting it. :-)

Björn Rudberg said...

Maybe doughnuts should be do-nots - would have saved Duncan, and probably Spot would have behaved better...

Berowne said...

Do-not and coffee; quite a combination...

Reader Wil said...

I am glad I read this:Macbeth has no reason to fear Macduff, for he cannot be killed by any man born of woman. Macduff declares that he was "from his mother's womb / Untimely ripp'd" (5.8.15–16), (i.e., born by Caesarean section) and is not "of woman born". Now I finally understand this story, which I have seen several times!
Thanks for your amusing way of describing the play.

Trubes said...

Well at least he wasn't up the duff!...Oooh that sounds a bit saucy, wasn't meant to be....lead on MacDuff!

Best wishes,

Di.
ABCW team.

Roger Green said...

Off topic, about a third of US births are by c_section, which is insane.

sal spring said...

So who was it who had the spot?

Karen S. said...

Bravo, precise and cheery, made me smile. Then you sent my tummy in a spin- doughnuts, they are my downfall. I always run quickly past them, but even then I can smell their delicious call!

Jeeves said...

Interesting...humorous..l

humbird said...

Wow! Masterfully written! Always learn from you, mr. Berowne...~ thank you for comments, appreciated much! x

Lmkazmierczak said...

Love how you shake up Shakespeare♪

Sheilagh Lee said...

haha I've heard a version of this from other teens you've captured this well

Joy said...

Thats the way to teach Shakespeare, funny. Reminds me of the Reduced Shakespeare Company.

Old Egg said...

Yes, this was a great laugh.

Berowne said...

Followed by a great comment. Thanks.

Helena said...

One of these days........

Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil said...

Ha ha ha, Berowne and Leigh, due to the ubiquity of Dunkin' Donuts, most Americans don't know how to spell "doughnut"!

Roger Owen Green said...

BTW, Owen is a great name.

Berowne said...

Yeah, I was going to name him Green but it didn't sound right. :-)

Eddie Bluelights said...

Hilarious . . . . . but Bill Shakespeare has just turned in his grave . . . lol
He'll send MacDuff after you . . . and perahps the ghost of Banquo.
I am considering a funny new ending when MacBeth refuses to die and kills MacDuff, telling him he was born by Casesarian Section too and the woods did not march because the roots were still in the ground . . . lol

Berowne said...

Good plotting...

 
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