Sunday, November 25, 2012

Berowne's 145B

Here's the answer to this week's Berownial quiz.

SAMUEL. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why, but we don't.
FREDERIC. I know why, but, alas! I mustn't tell you; it wouldn't be right.
PIRATE KING. Why not, my boy? It's only half-past eleven, and you are a pirate, one of us, until the clock strikes twelve.
SAMUEL. True, and until then you are bound to protect our interests.
ALL. Hear, hear!
FREDERIC. Well, then, it is my duty to tell you that you are too tender-hearted. For instance, you make a point of never attacking a weaker party than yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party you invariably get thrashed.
PIRATE KING. There is some truth in that.
FREDERIC. Then, again, you make a point of never molesting an orphan! It has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we capture says he's an orphan. The last three ships we took proved to be manned entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them go. One would think that Great Britain's merchant marine was recruited solely from her orphan asylums -- which we know is not the case.

“The Pirates of Penzance,” Act One.

Here's the quiz from last week:
(For Three-Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "Tellers")
Surely there’s nothing more relaxing on these cold winter eves than to sit back in a comfy chair and work on a crossword puzzle or a quiz.
All of which is my clumsy way of introducing another Berownial quiz for this week. Here 'tis.
The basic idea for the skit that follows was provided by a familiar Gilbert and Sullivan musical work. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: which G&S work?

“This places me in an awful position. The last thing I should be doing is offering advice to a bank robber.”
“Yeah, but Tom, you’re my brother-in-law. Family must mean something, and you usually know about things like this. It’s just that, I don’t seem to be doing it right and I need help.”
“Of course you’re not doing it right! You’ve never made a nickel at it, have you?”
“No, and that’s why you could give me some advice. I just thought I'd clench my teeth and ask Tom; he knows about such things.”
“Phil, listen. You don’t understand the first thing about robbing banks. Look at how you started out.”
“I know, I know. I made some foolish mistakes.”
“Foolish? Super-stupid, I’d say. You brought money into the bank!”
“Well, I was a bit confused. I heard they’d pay a high interest rate if I deposited some dough. So I thought if I did that money would come flooding back.”
“High interest rate, what a joke! They call less than one percent high interest. But put that aside; it has nothing to do with the process known as robbing a bank.”
“Yes, I could see right away that wasn’t the way to do it.”
“Your next try was just as dumb. You pulled off a couple of jobs but still wound up with nothing.”
“And yet you didn't have to prod me into getting ready. I was completely prepared! Look at this gear – mask, gun – everything I would need. I even bought a getaway car, an old used Studebaker which I got for eighty-five dollars. Outside of the fact that I nearly fainted the first time I walked into a bank with that mask, I was ready to be a professional.”
“Oh God, Phil, give it up! You’ll never be a successful bank robber! Look at the way you operate. You ask tellers if they have any financial problems because you don’t want to rob anyone who’s needy.”
“Well, I have standards. It’s important that I be a humane person.”
“So the result is that tellers all tell you they’re desperately poor and you turn around and leave. There’s no money in that!”
“I know, I know. I’m sure there’s a better way to do this kind of work, but I haven’t figured it out yet.”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)


Anonymous said...

I could take a stab in the dark, but no... gee I haven't thought any G&B for years. Ach, you are going to me work for this.

Kathe W. said...

I don't know enough to even guess...but did they ever produce something related to Robin Hood?

Berowne said...

ReBelle: "Gee I haven't thought any G&S for years. Ach, you are going to make me work for this."
Note to Bloggers: In spite of her comment, ReBelle went on to give the correct answer - congratulations. Anyone else like to try?

Berowne said...

Flash! Sheilagh Lee also gave the right answer. Good work!
Who's next?

Charleen said...

I have no clue, but I sure do like this piece. It made me smile several times... :-)

Lady In Read said...

Thanks for last week's answer :) could not have guessed it.
And as for this week's quiz, enjoyed the post, as usual, but I do not know G&S at all, even to try a guess.

Berowne said...

Another correct answer, this time from Linda - more congratulations!

Other Mary said...

Er...I obviously don't get out enough.

Anonymous said...

I haven't a clue! But I loved the piece and it made me smile. For that I thank you :)

Jae Rose said...

Like Mary I rarely leave my own red chair and puzzle book so am floundering on the story..however the ideas of ethical bank robbers made me chuckle..and am now going to check back and see what a numbskull I am in not figuring out Romeo and Juliet in your last story..this is good..I bet there's a gap in the puzzling market for this! Jae

Wander said...

Good piece!

I do have a question though in response to your comment on my poem. Am I to take it that your comment was saying that the line you were referring to was written with poor grammar? if so I would like to change the line, in fact I will change the line because its wording does not have to stay that way. Having very little formal education I appreciate any pointers, and will always make a point to change the offending parts...unless they were intentional, then they stay.


Berowne said...

Wander, you have accepted my little suggestion with aplomb and good humor. Glad to learn you were not offended.

Wander said...

Of course I wouldn't be posed it as a question which made me think...and I know that in some areas I am woefully under-educated.

Thanks Again


ninotaziz said...

Unfortunately, I am not familiar at all with G&S, so I will wait this out!

Berowne said...

I'm pleased to report that Dave King and Audrey Howitt both came up with the correct answer - congrats both.

Lydia said...

Hmmm. I simply do not know G&S, and it seems there is even a special for finding those whose answers were correct. This is too-too much for me at 2:30am (want to make a bet this puzzle will wind up in my dreams in about an hour?!)

Helena said...

Not an iota on this one - but I'm all for our Magpie's to take on fun other spins!

Pratibha said...

This was fun ! :)

Berowne said...

By the way, the correct answer will be posted on Thursday.

Roger Owen Green said...

not really versed in G&S, though I have a couple compilation albums

Reader Wil said...

What a wonderful quiz! I am sorry to say that I don't know much about G & S. Your story is fascinating and nice to read. Thanks for taking part in the ABC meme.
Wil, ABC Team.

Leslie: said...

No idea...but it's a fascinating bit of story.

abcw team

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Well thank you--this was great fun!

Wayne Pitchko said...

Im clueless.....but this is very good

Anonymous said...

I couldn't figure it out! I had fun though! Well done!

Mary said...

Ha, I enjoyed this; but I won't hazard a guess!

Berowne said...

daydreamerdreams: "I had fun though!"
Great. That's what counts.

Berowne said...

Wouldn't ya know it? La Kincaid, the one and only Tess, came up with the right answer. Who's next?

Tumblewords: said...

If I don't try, will I be forced to walk the plank?

Chris said...

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Sharp Little Pencil said...

We actually had a Summer Savoyards group in Binghamton, and yet, I confess to knowledge of NONE of the quotes. I'm a Gilbert and Sullivan fan but possessed of a short-term memory... You must have seen the Brit film about their partnership, and If you haven't, I cannot remember the name of the movie, either, but it had Jim Broadbent and was BRILL.

I haven't been around, but when you read my entry in this week's ABC, you'll know why:

Berowne said...

i read your entry, and as I mentioned, my thoughts are with you.

RMP said...

I like Frederick; he's a pretty bright chap.

As for Phil and clue whatsoever, but I quite agree with Tom.

Tess Kincaid said...

I never use a big big D...

Berowne said...

Tess K: "I never use a big big D."
What, never?

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