167 Quiz Answer

The answer to this week's quiz: William Shakespeare's "Henry V." 

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "Q" is for Quentin.)
Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.

As you know, Shakespeare wrote a number of plays named for English kings.  I wrote the following, basing it loosely on one of his most famous “king” plays.   Laurence Olivier and Kenneth Branagh starred in two of the famous films made about this king.

So your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is this: give us the name of the Shakespeare king suggested by the following.

Quentin is a young guy with a top job. 

When his father passed away, Quentin became CEO of the family’s huge corporation.  He’s well aware that there’s a possibility that because of his youth some people are not going to be taking him seriously.

Today’s a big day.  He has a meeting scheduled with another CEO to discuss a possible merger.  The man who shows up for the meeting has brought a gift.  Because lanky young Quentin has a reputation as a tennis player, the gift is a box of tennis balls.

Quentin:  “Tennis balls?”

Visitor: “You bet.  A full box of the best.  They’re Dunlop Professional tennis balls, especially created for performance and durability.  You’ll love ‘em.”

“I – I guess I’m a bit confused.  My meeting today was with your CEO.”

“Well hey, you understand, the guy’s a very busy man.  He’s always juggling three or four deals around.  I’m his personal assistant and he wanted me to convey his warm and fuzzy best wishes to you and, most important, to discuss your reaction to his idea of a possible merger.”

“And your name..?”

“Just call me Phil.”

“Ok Phil, let’s see if I understand.  I set up a meeting to discuss your CEO’s idea of a possible merger of our two corporations – it was his idea - but he’s too busy; he sends his personal assistant.”

“I assure you I’m fully qualified…”

“And he also sends me a gift, a box of tennis balls – something you might give a high-school kid.”

“I see you’re getting a bit upset.”

“Upset?  Well, you see, on a subject as important as a possible merger of two corporations, I can meet only with another CEO, not a personal assistant.”

“I’ll report back to him that…”

“Yes, report to him that I enjoy the game we’re playing.  Tell him I’m just an adolescent he doesn’t have to take seriously.  But here's my ultimatum: tell him I’ve got a terrific forehand and an even more powerful destructive backhand.  And tell him that his serve - the idea of a merger of our two firms - has gone straight into the net!”

By the way, the tennis balls were not my idea.  Shakespeare wrote a scene about tennis balls; it’s an important part of this play.

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings)

 

Berowne's 145B

Here's the answer to this week's Berownial quiz.

SAMUEL. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why, but we don't.
FREDERIC. I know why, but, alas! I mustn't tell you; it wouldn't be right.
PIRATE KING. Why not, my boy? It's only half-past eleven, and you are a pirate, one of us, until the clock strikes twelve.
SAMUEL. True, and until then you are bound to protect our interests.
ALL. Hear, hear!
FREDERIC. Well, then, it is my duty to tell you that you are too tender-hearted. For instance, you make a point of never attacking a weaker party than yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party you invariably get thrashed.
PIRATE KING. There is some truth in that.
FREDERIC. Then, again, you make a point of never molesting an orphan! It has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we capture says he's an orphan. The last three ships we took proved to be manned entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them go. One would think that Great Britain's merchant marine was recruited solely from her orphan asylums -- which we know is not the case.

“The Pirates of Penzance,” Act One.

Here's the quiz from last week:
(For Three-Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "Tellers")

Surely there’s nothing more relaxing on these cold winter eves than to sit back in a comfy chair and work on a crossword puzzle or a quiz.
All of which is my clumsy way of introducing another Berownial quiz for this week. Here 'tis.
The basic idea for the skit that follows was provided by a familiar Gilbert and Sullivan musical work. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: which G&S work?

“This places me in an awful position. The last thing I should be doing is offering advice to a bank robber.”
“Yeah, but Tom, you’re my brother-in-law. Family must mean something, and you usually know about things like this. It’s just that, I don’t seem to be doing it right and I need help.”
“Of course you’re not doing it right! You’ve never made a nickel at it, have you?”
“No, and that’s why you could give me some advice. I just thought I'd clench my teeth and ask Tom; he knows about such things.”
“Phil, listen. You don’t understand the first thing about robbing banks. Look at how you started out.”
“I know, I know. I made some foolish mistakes.”
“Foolish? Super-stupid, I’d say. You brought money into the bank!”
“Well, I was a bit confused. I heard they’d pay a high interest rate if I deposited some dough. So I thought if I did that money would come flooding back.”
“High interest rate, what a joke! They call less than one percent high interest. But put that aside; it has nothing to do with the process known as robbing a bank.”
“Yes, I could see right away that wasn’t the way to do it.”
“Your next try was just as dumb. You pulled off a couple of jobs but still wound up with nothing.”
“And yet you didn't have to prod me into getting ready. I was completely prepared! Look at this gear – mask, gun – everything I would need. I even bought a getaway car, an old used Studebaker which I got for eighty-five dollars. Outside of the fact that I nearly fainted the first time I walked into a bank with that mask, I was ready to be a professional.”
“Oh God, Phil, give it up! You’ll never be a successful bank robber! Look at the way you operate. You ask tellers if they have any financial problems because you don’t want to rob anyone who’s needy.”
“Well, I have standards. It’s important that I be a humane person.”
“So the result is that tellers all tell you they’re desperately poor and you turn around and leave. There’s no money in that!”
“I know, I know. I’m sure there’s a better way to do this kind of work, but I haven’t figured it out yet.”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

For Three-Word Wednesday, Magpie 115 and ABC Wednesday

"P" is for "Phil"
Dear Larry: I write to tell you of something truly remarkable in the field of personal investing.

As you may know, I was very active with Freemasonry for years. Well, some time back, I was seized by an idea – and by an ideal.

(Dolores feels I may be a bit crazy; you’d think a wife would support her husband and not spend most of the time criticizing.)

My objective, in this our twenty-first century, is to found a new and totally independent universal Masonic Lodge, an attempt to reach a generous and just standard in the way we live our lives.

It was clear to me that what has been lacking in the movement up till now is, in a word, leadership. With the right charismatic leader, we can set new goals, reach new achievements in world brotherhood.

I resisted the obvious conclusion for quite a while, but finally I gave in – I, Larry, am the person to become that leader.

I have spent most of my personal fortune to establish my new Lodge. I had a huge enclosure designed and built in the shape of a glass Mason jar – because, obviously, of the symbolism of the name – and it is capable of holding a human being who will use it for purposes of meditation and study.

There now exists a new ritualised format, which I developed over a period of time, that requires a person – so far it has been only me – to sit in solemn silence in the jar in a pool of heavily symbolic water for a specified meditation period.

I have been penalized in this endeavor because it has cost quite a lot of money. It is well worth it, however, because I know that once the aims and ideals of my new Lodge get out to the general public, a storm of interest will be created and folks throughout the land will flock to our banner, eager to join.

Offered over the internet, for the average person an annual payment of thirty-eight dollars will be all that will be required for full-time membership. This will include, at no extra cost, our monthly bulletin and of course the chance to use the Lodge Mason jar from time to time.

I offer this as a special investment opportunity to you, Larry, because you are my brother-in-law and you know how lucrative it can be to get in on the ground floor when something exciting and promising is about to take off. A mere three thousand dollars from you will do it – an investment that will almost certainly increase greatly in value over the years. (Don’t listen to your sister.)

It would be a tragedy if this marvelous step toward a new tomorrow failed just because of a few dollars.

Hope to hear from you – regards, Phil.
(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)