170 Quiz Answer

Here’s the answer to this week’s quiz.

In the play “Hamlet,” Laertes loves his sister Ophelia but like most Elizabethan males he seeks to control her. Before he leaves for France he gives a speech instructing her on the importance of proper behavior.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "Tom")

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz.  I wrote the following scenelet, which should remind you of one of the Shakespeare plays.  Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: which play?

Sue: “You’re still packing?  You’ve been running around all morning.  I thought you’d be all set by now.”

Tom:  “I’m just about ready.  Have you seen my beret?  It's my badge of honor for a visit to France.”

“Oh God Tom, you didn’t have to buy a beret to make a trip to Paris.  That’s really overdoing it.”

“Well, I wanted to fit in.”

“My understanding is that most French folks stopped wearing berets around the time of Louis Fifteenth.  Just buy a baguette first thing you get there and walk down the street with that skinny loaf of bread tucked under your arm; you’ll fit in nicely.”

“I guess I’m about ready to leave.  Don’t forget to write; let me know what’s going on around here.”

“What’s going on around here will be the usual – not much.”

“Come on, cheer up.  Why do you let your mood darken so much?  After all, you live like a princess in an actual castle; not many girls have a lifestyle like that.  So you should just be happy that your bro got a chance to go to Paris.”

“Yeah, it’s great.  It’s just that whenever Dad decides to spring for something really expensive, like a chance to leave these northern climes for a trip to France – with all those luscious meals at Parisian restaurants – it’s for you.  I get to sit home and watch.”

“Listen.  I know your relationship with Dad is a bit...”

“Strained?”

“Well, yes.  Why don’t you make a bit more effort to be...”

“The dutiful daughter?  What century is this?  I should be able to live as I want to live.  You certainly do.”

“Anyway, you know very well this is an educational trip.  I’ll be studying most of the time while I’m in Paris.”

“Yeah, and I think I know what you’ll be studying.”

“Hah, witty to the last.  Sis, you have to face it, Dad’s old school.  He loves his daughter, wants the best for her.  I know that's something of a liability for you.  If that means keeping you here in a castle so he can watch over you – well, I have no idea how to get him to change such ideas at his age.  Talk about conservative, I believe he thinks Herbert Hoover was the last great president.”

“No, for him Hoover would have been too much of a leftist.  Well, anyway, bon, as they say at the Deux Magots, voyage!”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)

 

 

Berowne's 145B

Here's the answer to this week's Berownial quiz.

SAMUEL. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why, but we don't.
FREDERIC. I know why, but, alas! I mustn't tell you; it wouldn't be right.
PIRATE KING. Why not, my boy? It's only half-past eleven, and you are a pirate, one of us, until the clock strikes twelve.
SAMUEL. True, and until then you are bound to protect our interests.
ALL. Hear, hear!
FREDERIC. Well, then, it is my duty to tell you that you are too tender-hearted. For instance, you make a point of never attacking a weaker party than yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party you invariably get thrashed.
PIRATE KING. There is some truth in that.
FREDERIC. Then, again, you make a point of never molesting an orphan! It has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we capture says he's an orphan. The last three ships we took proved to be manned entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them go. One would think that Great Britain's merchant marine was recruited solely from her orphan asylums -- which we know is not the case.

“The Pirates of Penzance,” Act One.

Here's the quiz from last week:
(For Three-Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "Tellers")

Surely there’s nothing more relaxing on these cold winter eves than to sit back in a comfy chair and work on a crossword puzzle or a quiz.
All of which is my clumsy way of introducing another Berownial quiz for this week. Here 'tis.
The basic idea for the skit that follows was provided by a familiar Gilbert and Sullivan musical work. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: which G&S work?

“This places me in an awful position. The last thing I should be doing is offering advice to a bank robber.”
“Yeah, but Tom, you’re my brother-in-law. Family must mean something, and you usually know about things like this. It’s just that, I don’t seem to be doing it right and I need help.”
“Of course you’re not doing it right! You’ve never made a nickel at it, have you?”
“No, and that’s why you could give me some advice. I just thought I'd clench my teeth and ask Tom; he knows about such things.”
“Phil, listen. You don’t understand the first thing about robbing banks. Look at how you started out.”
“I know, I know. I made some foolish mistakes.”
“Foolish? Super-stupid, I’d say. You brought money into the bank!”
“Well, I was a bit confused. I heard they’d pay a high interest rate if I deposited some dough. So I thought if I did that money would come flooding back.”
“High interest rate, what a joke! They call less than one percent high interest. But put that aside; it has nothing to do with the process known as robbing a bank.”
“Yes, I could see right away that wasn’t the way to do it.”
“Your next try was just as dumb. You pulled off a couple of jobs but still wound up with nothing.”
“And yet you didn't have to prod me into getting ready. I was completely prepared! Look at this gear – mask, gun – everything I would need. I even bought a getaway car, an old used Studebaker which I got for eighty-five dollars. Outside of the fact that I nearly fainted the first time I walked into a bank with that mask, I was ready to be a professional.”
“Oh God, Phil, give it up! You’ll never be a successful bank robber! Look at the way you operate. You ask tellers if they have any financial problems because you don’t want to rob anyone who’s needy.”
“Well, I have standards. It’s important that I be a humane person.”
“So the result is that tellers all tell you they’re desperately poor and you turn around and leave. There’s no money in that!”
“I know, I know. I’m sure there’s a better way to do this kind of work, but I haven’t figured it out yet.”

(Also submitted to Sunday Scribblings.)